The Top 14 Things Said to the Wisconsin Democratic Senators by Their Spouses Upon Their Return From Illinois
This past Saturday the 14 Democratic Senators from Wisconsin who had brazenly shirked their responsibilities to the people of Wisconsin by opting for a cowardly month long escapade across the border in Illinois, finally came back to their rightful place – Wisconsin.
And while the labor union and other assorted leftists gave them a “hero’s welcome” when they “bravely” (think storming the beaches at Normandy) made their way back to the capital in Madison, evidently the welcome they received from their spouses at home was not so welcoming.
Here is just a sampling of what might have been said to them by their spouses:
(And for full disclosure, the list presented above is for entertainment – i.e. humor – purposes only. None of the quotes or situations presented are true…as far as we know.)
14. “What’s that, Tim? Did you just ask me what that smell was? That’s the damn garbage I let pile up during the month you were not here to take it out! It looked like to me that when you left you were running from all of your responsibilities – one of which is to take out our trash!”
13. “Why yes, Spencer, I did take the liberty to relocate you to the living room for an indefinite period seeing as how you decided a month ago to take the liberty to relocate to Illinois for an indefinite period.”
12. “Oh, no, Timothy, I did miss you. But when you said you were leaving for a while and didn’t know when you would be back, I decided to move on. You remember our pool boy, Kevin, right?”
11. “No, Jon, what that letter says is that we have 30 days to vacate the premises not vacation from the premises. It’s called foreclosure, and it’s what happens in the real world when people massively overspend, miss work for a month, and can’t pay their bills, you idiot!”
10. “All your suits are at the dry cleaners, Dave. Oh, wait, never mind. They are all at Goodwill because I threw them out after you left me all alone for a month, you jerk.”
9. “Well, Jim, I couldn’t exactly let the Lego Millennium Falcon sit completed on the kitchen table for God knows how long after you ran off to Illinois. But don’t cry. You can put it back together, dear. Surely it won’t take that long.”
8. “Were you not in Civics class that day, Robert? A recall is when the people decide to remove or replace an elected official before their term is up because they were doing a crappy job. Sound familiar?”
7. “You were gone for one month, Chris, and all you brought back was this shirt that says ‘I holed up in a motel just across the border from Wisconsin like a scared little girl for an entire month because I refused to do my job, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt’? Really!?!?”
6. “Sure I ate out every night, Julie! Did you really expect me to cook for the entire month you were gone?”
5. “No, Mark, those UAW fellas you know didn’t drop off an envelope full of cash while you were gone. And even if they had, I wouldn’t tell you! You left me all alone for a month and accomplished absolutely nothing with your stupid publicity stunt!”
4. “Yes, Fred, I saw you on the TV. And I heard what you said about doing the right thing. But let me tell you something, buster, the right thing was to come home, do the job you were elected to do, and take care of your damn family.”
3. “I have no idea how long it is going to take to do a month’s worth of laundry, Lena. But you’ll have plenty of time to do it in the next couple of weeks while I am out partying with my buddies every night.”
2. “It’s not like I can return it, Kathleen! Do you know how many miles I have put on this Harley in the month you gone hanging out in Illinois and not doing your job?”
1. “Oh, are you looking for your Dom Perignon, Robert? I’m so sorry but I drank it and replaced it with some Pabst Blue Ribbon now that you are all about representing the Working Man, you hypocrite fleebagger.”
What do you think of the list? And what would you say to these men and women if you had the chance to meet them?